Lauren Rebbeck
Dear Annie,
On my last dive I kept bumping into my buddy underwater, and I didn’t know when to help with their gear and when to back off. How can I be a good buddy without being annoying or invading their space?
—Bumper Fish
Dear Bumper Fish,
No matter how long you've been diving, buddy dynamics can be tricky. Finding a routine you can repeat before, during and after your dives will turn awkwardness into grace.
When to Help With Gear
Before diving, run through the buddy check and become familiar with each other’s equipment. Ensure masks, straps, zippers, hoses and valves are dive-ready. Also discuss your dive plan, body positioning, hand signals and expectations: How frequently should you check in? Are you navigating, drifting, exploring a wreck or doing another specialty dive? The more you plan, the more comfortable you can both be on the dive.
Once underwater, resist the temptation to “fix” things on your buddy unless it’s clearly unsafe. If a strap comes loose or a gauge dangles, simply signal to your buddy. There’s a trust you build with a buddy—getting into their space to fix something can feel intrusive, unless they ask.
Related Reading: How Do I Tell My Dive Guide to Stop Touching Animals?
Positioning Underwater
Some people have a tendency to walk into others on land—you might experience this underwater. The fix for “bumping fins” is learning underwater placement. It’s hard to constantly look over your shoulder, so I don’t recommend a lead/follow position. Hovering side by side, you can easily turn your heads to see each other. Aim to be about two seconds away from your buddy. This gives all divers a clear line of sight without being on top of each other. You can respond quickly if your buddy needs help or wants to pause in one location.
In cold water, bulky gear makes tasks harder. Lend a hand with zippers, clips and gloves before entry. In lower viz, you may need to close the diver gap. If drift diving, pay attention to the direction of the flow and stay streamlined to prevent separation. If either of you has a camera, give space to compose shots but stay within reach—photographers may not notice changing conditions. On night dives, use your torch to signal and stay within a comfortable glow of light.
Related Reading: How Can I Help Protect the Ocean?
Communication and Check-Ins
Eye contact and hand signals go a long way toward building trust. Plan to check in at natural intervals such as once you’ve leveled off, anytime you change direction, or according to air supply. A simple “OK” signal with eye contact reinforces that you’re tuned in without being overbearing. After the dive, a quick debrief—what worked, what felt awkward—helps you both improve for the next dive.
The Bottom Line
Being a good buddy isn’t about micromanaging—it’s about mindfulness. Stay close enough for safety but far enough for comfort. Offer assistance when needed, and let your buddy be independent. Check in often, communicate clearly and adjust to the dive conditions. The best buddies make diving feel effortless. When you strike the balance between presence and respect, you create dives where both of you feel safe, supported and free to explore.
Ask Annie
PADI Master Scuba Diver Trainer Annie Crawley answers your most pressing questions about dive etiquette, training qualms and gear analysis with zero judgment and a whole lot of lived experience.
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